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Mena Suvari has always been a captivating enigma in Hollywood. Known for her breakout roles in cult classics like American Beauty and American Pie, Suvari’s career has been a testament to reinvention and resilience. But beyond her on-screen charisma lies an inspiring narrative of self-discovery, creativity, and transformation.
In this exclusive conversation, Mena opens up about her evolution—from navigating the highs and lows of Hollywood to embracing her voice as an author and advocate. With her recent memoir, The Great Peace, Suvari shares an unflinching account of her journey, delving into the struggles and triumphs that shaped her both on and off the screen.
Here, she reflects on the catharsis of writing her story, the power of vulnerability, and how putting her truth into words has transformed her perspective on life, fame, and healing.
Dimitri: Can we talk about your memoirs? I understand it’s extremely close to you. How did you start the process?
Mena Suvari: So, I met my husband in 2016. And around that time between 2016, and 2017, when you when you meet someone and you start a new relationship, you know, what we wanted to do was we wanted to, change over the style of our home. Right? And so I had a storage unit for many years with many extra stuff in it. I’m a pretty organized, neat person, mind you, so after we came together, I was inspired to change up the style of our home. We had or I had a lot of things that were very, like, dark and had, metal, and I wanted things that were more like wood and more of a zen modern. Right? And so I went into the storage unit, and I have this process because I’m a Virgo moon. I love it. I always offer up my services. Like, if I can either throw something away, reincorporate it, or donate it. And so I was, like, going through my storage unit. I’m going through all this stuff, and I found this bin that I’ve had for many decades. And, it’s a lot of my work, like magazines and old-school VHS tapes, and I had my diary in there. My diary it’s like one of those little books that you’d find. I actually bought it in Chinatown in San Francisco. So it’s teal colored and has this cool pattern on it. And then I also had a red binder, like those plastic ones from school, if you can remember. So it was like a red three-ring binder. I came out to Los Angeles right before I was 15. And so during those years, middle teen years I was writing in the diary, and I wasn’t just writing diary entries. I was writing short stories and poems and things like that. And throughout that period, like, when I was 15 to 17 because I put dates on a lot of them, I decided to create a book. And I took a lot of the poems that I’d written, and I had an old-school typewriter. Okay. And I typed them up. And so I typed about, like, 50 to 60 loose pages, and I put them in this red three-ring binder. And I called it “The Great Peace” back then. So when I was going through my storage unit, I found the diary. I found this binder again. And I kind of seen it throughout the years, like, oh, yeah. That’s my diary. Oh, yeah. That’s my past. And during that time, I just felt like I wanna do something with this, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. At first, my instinct was, that I wanted to take this idea of a young actress coming to Hollywood and finding her way in a time period because it was the nineties. And on my own, I registered it with the Writers Guild, and I started to develop a treatment. And that’s something that I’m still not giving up on, and I’m still it’s still on the burner for me.
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So I was doing that, And then I thought, wouldn’t it be really cool if I could just publish this binder? Because it’s like, I already made a book in a way. You know? But it was mainly poems, some short stories. And so I tried to pursue that. And what was interesting about that was I think part of me sort of felt like if I just try to publish this poem or poetry book as a great piece in and of itself, I’m still some kind of hiding behind my story to a certain extent, And that’s part of my story. It was it was like, well, maybe I can share, but I don’t have to give up my whole story. And I can and that can be cathartic, and that I can heal. You know? So I was kind of dancing with that idea. I had met someone years before who was also a writer, and editor. He’s written books for people. He’s worked in this space for a long time. And so I had a meeting with him, and I brought him the binder and my diary. And I shared some stories with him, and I wanted to get his advice and his opinion. And so I left that meeting, and he pretty much said, you know, I think you should tell this as your memoir. I left that meeting thinking, I’m gonna be 46 in February.
So I was thinking, I’m not even dead. I’m writing my memoir, this is weird. Like, I hope feels a little strange, but but I just decided to go with it. And so that’s when I decided, you know, kind of like, f it. I’m gonna I’m just gonna go for it and not move past all of that fear. And long story long, because this was a couple of years. I mean, it took a long time. But I long story long, once I involved the same writer editor that I originally had that meeting with, and he had to help me edit it down because I basically wrote 2 books. I wrote 600 pages. I wrote so much stuff, and then that turned into well, it has to fit within a memoir format. And so people don’t the overall process with the book. I really hope that one day, I could just publish the full thing in some weird way. The whole point was I sort of was going through this personal moment, was inspired to heal, decided to tell my story and give back, and I really did it for me.
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I never thought I was going to write a book one day or I never thought that about myself. And my friend encouraged me to do that. After I wrote my story, I found out I was pregnant. Like, all these amazing, magical things really came out of it. And I know that a lot of people haven’t read my book. I know that a lot of people still don’t even know that I’ve written a book, but it’s still coming through. And I promote it in ways that feel organic to me. It’s not a comedy. You know? It’s about trauma. It’s about really intense dark things. And, you know, I was promoting the book right after my son was born. It was like the whole thing has been a wild, intense process, but I feel overall, it’s been rewarding because I’ve had, work come out of it. I’ve had people that have thought of me in a different way. I’ve had moments in interviews where women have read my book or they have heard something about what I was talking about and that’s inspired them to talk about it more. That’s just the whole point. That’s the whole point just to share, to hopefully make it better for somebody else.
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In the book and throughout promotion, I always used this phrase if I could shave off some of the suffering for someone, then I wanted to be that person. That’s how I’ve always looked at it. I think that that’s sort of like the process for a lot of people because all I do is watch documentaries and that’s all I see the older you get, the more you kind of realize I can take this knowledge, you know, I can take this experience and wisdom that I gained and now I can do something with it or I can do nothing with it. You know what I mean? And no one was ever gonna know my story. No one was ever gonna and that was such a big part of it. I was just pushing myself deeper and deeper into that box. Like, that never happened. That wasn’t me. That’s not connected to who Mena Suvari is. That doesn’t serve anyone and ultimately doesn’t serve me the most, but it doesn’t serve anyone to really be in that space. And I don’t know. I’m very Aquarian. I’ve always wanted to break that mold. I was aware of that. I felt like this was gonna be truly shocking for a lot of people. And I feel like I’ve been privy to a lot of that, mindset anyway of people thinking like, oh, I came from this or I was just given this, you know, and that wasn’t the case.
So it was sort of like me also in control of, like, my story for the first time in a way because I had never allowed myself to be that person. Right? I came up into this world. I became famous and known, and then all of that was written for me. And it was also a part of me saying, hey. Actually, like, this is where I came from, and this is what I’ve gone through. And, you know, it’s like I said, it’s not like it’s all-knowing and everybody just knows that, but it’s at least now it’s a more authentic journey that I can actually do something with. And because I felt so much of my life back then was just faking it. You know? Like, I had to write it in the book, I talk a lot about how, like, American Pie gave me my high school experience. So much of what people saw from me was the opposite in my personal life. And so I wanted to touch on that, and I wanted to have conversations about it. And I feel like we’re still not there. There’s we’re still inching slowly towards being able to really talk about.
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Dimitri: Did you feel detached when you were either promoting the book or even when you were writing the book? Did you feel like you actually did it in 3rd person?
Mena Suvari: I wouldn’t really use the word detachment. It was more like a channeling in. It was more like dialing in and allowing it to flow and come out. And I didn’t want to second guess it too much because that was what the whole process of editing it down was because I just allowed myself to speak and to write. Then it was mainly a matter of, like, okay. Maybe this sentence sounds redundant to the other one. Like, okay. Maybe let’s tighten up this memory because I had to fit within a certain format. So I had to lose words. So I had to kind of shape an idea. It’s like dialing in or channeling because I feel like, you know, we have that. We have that connection to our higher self all the time. Right? It’s just learning how to access it.
Another thing in connection to what you’re saying I recorded the audiobook 4 months after my son was born. So, you can imagine the sensitive emotional state that I’m in. But not only just in writing the book, but even in the audiobook, you can hear me get emotional over moments. Definitely, because I spoke early on in the book about rape, and that was for sure. There were moments in writing the book where I had to stop. I was so overwhelmed by emotion. I couldn’t even see what I was writing because waterworks were coming out. You know? And so that was that was interesting. It’s not like I was completely shocked by that, but it was interesting to be like, wow. That happened when I was 12, and it’s still there. So that’s that’s the point. You know what I mean? You can’t keep that energy in. And like I said, I’ve always tried to share this with people because I choose to live within the magic of all of it. I found out I was pregnant after this. It was like that to me really means something. I hold a true connection between those 2 because that’s real really what I wanted for myself was to get that out of my body. There’s so much power in that. And I always try to encourage people because even if you don’t quote un or per se publish a book, even if you write a letter and you put it in a drawer, even if you just there’s just power in getting that energy out, and it’s and it can be so transformative.
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That’s why I wrote the book. Transformative. That’s why I talk about these things because I feel like it’s important to do that. And I also am more than willing to be that person for people. Because I feel like I find myself in so many situations, conversations where we’ll end up having a real conversation like this, and it feels like people aren’t allowed to. Or just feel like they can’t ask that question. And I just I wanna change that for people in any way that I can. So I’ve always just offered myself up to be that person. If I didn’t move forward with the book, then I couldn’t be because all I was doing was really lying to myself. In the book, I talk a lot about abusive traumatic moments, the past creeping up on you. And I would always be like, oh, that’s not, I was just always hiding from it. And I and that just never served anybody so I just decided to change it.
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Dimitri: You had 2 massive films at the same time, which completely changed everything from American Pie to American Beauty.
Mena Suvari: I’ve had moments with friends, and costars who confided in me that they were jealous of me, and I appreciate them not sharing that with me. But, again, it’s like it’s it it’s not serving anybody if I just kind of acted. I don’t know, acted like, that that’s what was part of hard for me. I also never saw myself as that person. You know? That’s what that’s what sort of happened towards me from other people, fame. You know what I mean? Like, all of that was sort of created for me. I was never, in search of that specifically because I cared about the work. And so it’s a strange thing. It’s like you find yourself you’re sort of wrapped up in this hurricane of what people think you are. So that’s what I was living. And, you know, I I got married very young. My first husband was a lot older than me, and a lot of that was, like, odd for people at the time to, absorb. It was, like, unusual behavior for me to be exhibiting, and I address that in the book. I talk about because I talk about you know, I started from the beginning, and all of that to me is connected. It’s coming from a particular place. You know? And so if anything, I could just allow myself to be that person to help offer up any understanding about trajectory and pathways. Like, it’s so obvious. If you put x, y, and z into a recipe for the most part, you’ll get that. So I thought that those were my hopes. I mean, overall. Like, if I can leave any kind of mark, it’s like, again, if I can just allow someone to maybe make a more positive healing connection earlier on in their journey, awesome. Because it’s like when people I don’t know. It can be an outcome but for my experience, it feels like when you go through so many of those moments and experiences, you just never wish that on other people. And so you care so much about trying to be that person for other people. I know that I can’t save other people, you know, even though no matter no matter how much I want to take everyone in and hold them. But I can do that by telling my story.
Dimitri: Absolutely.
Mena Suvari: You know? So I just decided to kind of, like, get out of my own way and be that person that, like, I never had. You know? Well, I had one friend that I talked about in the book, and she said, things don’t have to be this way. And so, again, I try to make those connections for people, like like almost like I had to learn everything the hard way. So maybe use me as an example, you know, and how you can make it a little easier on yourself. I’m happy to be that person for others.
Dimitri: I went through a whole bunch of hard yards and surprisingly I’m here.
Mena Suvari: I think that’s what as we get older, that’s what life’s about.
Dimitri: Exactly.
Mena Suvari: About connection. It’s about helping one another. It’s not about competition.
Dimitri: Oh, exactly. But people still make a competition about everything.
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Dimitri: Can we talk about, right behind you on the wall, about Black Dahlia.
Mena Suvari: Oh, yeah. This is super cool. Basically, I got to work on American Horror Story. This was the newspaper that our, prop department made. In the scene, in the show. So I framed it. But this is like an actual newspaper and it’s ridiculous because it’s word for word. You could read it. It’s not like most props where maybe from far away, like, that looks good, and then you look at it and you’re like, this is a bunch of gibberish.
Dimitri: So cool.
Mena Suvari: And then we shot those on the Paramount lot. We walked around outside on the Paramount lot. It was just fuzzy. It was great. It was a super old Hollywood experience. And a lot of people don’t know even with this show, they had my stockings and my lingerie everything made for me. It wasn’t just, like, you know, shopping. It was, like, specific. It was a nice experience.
Dimitri: Ryan Murphy, he’s a genius.
You just had a premiere at the Toronto Film Festival for your latest film.
Mena Suvari: Yeah. For Ick, that is filmed by, Joseph Kahn, with Brandon Routh. We filmed that a couple of years ago in Texas. It’s awesome. A creature feature. And, yeah, we had our world premiere at the Midnight Madness screening at TIFF.
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Dimitri: Love Midnight Madness screenings. They’re the best ones. Can you tell us more about the film?
Mena Suvari: Brandon Routh is our hero at the end of the day. It’s like a small town. It’s a very it’s a very quick-paced film. So in the beginning, you sort of see a flashback part, where he’s like it guy, a popular jock in high school. And I was his high school crush. I was the head cheerleader. I was the prom queen. He was prom king. And then it cuts to where he has a football injury, and, he didn’t quite make it to the status that everybody thought he was gonna make it to. So he sort of, like, stayed behind in this small town, and he’s a janitor now. And my character is married for money. So it’s sort of people finding themselves outside of high school and thinking, you know, that it’s like a different environment of what they thought it was gonna be, and everybody’s just living in this town and kind of putting up with things the way that they are. And you have this parasitic entity that starts to take hold of the town, and that’s called the ick. And so the ick has been, like, living with everyone. Everybody’s kind of, like, gotten used to it. It’s a very subjective feel, depending on you, who’s watching it, and what they take away from it. But yeah. So it’s like it’s everything. It’s a comedy. It’s a drama. It’s a horror but it’s also PG-13. So it’s not as scary as you would think it would be. We don’t have our distribution yet, so I don’t know when it’s coming out, but it will be coming out soon. I have another film called All You Need is Blood, which is actually coming out tomorrow night. It’s on Kino Makes Movies, It’s a zombie comedy, and it’s genius. They showed it at Seach’s. It was at Seach’s, and it toured the world with festivals, and now it’s gonna be out on Kino Makes Movies.
